this is impressive:
in the last ten/fifteen years, I've been invited to give/have given maybe four readings . . .
with my persona non grata status in the Pobiz, I guess it's amazing I got even four invitations!
actually, when I was younger I did receive invitations to read my poetry, and I did readings—
but then Poetry Magazine reported that I was afraid to give readings—
yes, before Poetry Magazine stated that I was afraid to give readings,
I was actually invited to give readings of my poetry,
but then of course after Poetry Magazine asserted that I was afraid to give readings,
all such invitations dried up . . .
which is not surprising, really:
I mean, when you know that Poetry Magazine has declared that I am "terrified" (the word they used)
of giving poetry readings,
then it's not too likely that you or anyone else
will invite me
to give a poetry reading,
The sponsors and organizers of poetry readings all know that I am afraid to read my work in public—they all know it because it said so right there in Poetry Magazine, so it must be true—
ergo it's no wonder they never invited me.