Friday, June 15, 2012

loser

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So in the past couple weeks I've paid the fees and sent my book ms. "Selected Syllabic Verse" out to these four book contests:

1913
Barrrow Street
Cider Press Review
Four Way Books

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It's almost certainly a waste of time and money—

I won't "win" any of these contests, and even if such a miracle occurred, I probably wouldn't be able to—to what?—conform to their system of operation—

I would love to have a publisher whose model/procedure/process

isn't the same one used by publishers in the past, before the Internet, before POD, ebooks, etc.—

I'd love to have a publisher whose policies aren't archaic, but I doubt I ever shall—  

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I found these listed at the Poets and Writers website with a June 31 deadline.  I may check back in July to see if there are other possible places where I can send the book.

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So if I know it's a waste of time and money, why do it?  Well, I think it does serve a purpose in that it focuses me, concentrates my attention on the books (I'm preparing others to submit to upcoming contests) and makes me bring their contents up to date, collating and formatting them for— for what?

I've stopped publishing my books at Lulu.com, and I've stopped giving away free copies of my books—other poets don't give their work away free, so why should I— Giving my books away free in the past has brought me nothing but contempt and disdain from the poetry world, nothing but ridicule—

In any case, preparing these books for submission to these contests may help me understand what I have tried to achieve in a half century of effort in writing them, 

and if nothing else it may give me a fatuous false foolish reason to live a little longer, or try to live a futile longer here in my eighth decade of existence.

No, I won't win any of these contests. 

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Maybe this is just a momentary whim, and next week I'll forswear submitting to these book contests, but really, what other option do I have?— It's not like any publisher is at my door asking to put out my books.  Which by their very existence (or non-existence, since they're only manuscripts, not books—a book doesn't exist until it's published, does it?—) demonstrate their unworthiness.  And of course none of these contests are going to see me as anything but a loser—

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